


I'm coming home for Christmas

by ellenvictoria



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, M/M, Santa Claus is louis from the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-03 09:43:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellenvictoria/pseuds/ellenvictoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, Louis is Santa Claus and Santa comes back to tell Louis that things needs to change and that he need Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm coming home for Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> I'm crazy ok.

He must be dreaming, there can’t be another explanation. Everything is a bit blurry, like when he forgets to put his lenses in. And those sounds could be nothing but dreams of a little child, except he’s not a little child.  
Louis walks down the stairs of his family home, really early that morning on Christmas day and he sees - no that cannot be what he sees; he must be dreaming - Santa Claus. Really? He just turned 22; why is he still having these dreams?  
“Who are you?” And isn’t that the stupidest question ever, of course he can see that it is Santa – no this is not Santa; Santa is not real.  
The big, old man turns around to face Louis with a concerned look. And he looks nothing like anyone Louis knows, who could be pranking with him. He have learned a lot about what make-up can do, this past couple of years, but those wrinkles and that big white beard looks too real than anything fake Louis has ever seen.  
The answer comes and it was nothing Louis could ever expect to hear. “I am you,” Santa says in a slow, old and tired voice.  
“What?” This doesn’t make sense, how can Santa be him? He takes a few steps further down the stairs, towards the man. Strangely enough he’s not scared; it’s just Santa, why should he be scared of Santa?  
“I am you,” Santa repeats, “I am you from a different time in universe,” and this absolutely still doesn’t make any sense at all. But there is something about how the man says it, that makes Louis want to comfort him, it sounds somehow like he would need it; the comfort. He sounds like someone who’ve lost something big that he never can get back.  
Santa Claus puts some presents under the tree which Louis’ sister had decorated with home-made paper figures. What else would Santa do, that’s his job. Louis doesn’t even wonder why it was so easy for him to believe that this was the real Santa, when he hadn’t have any troubles in stop believing as a child. He doesn’t even stop for a second to wonder if he should call the police; there’s an unknown man in his living room.   
When Santa is done under the tree he doesn’t leave up the chimney as Louis had expect him to, but sits down on the sofa and waits for Louis to sit down next to him.  
“You have to stop breaking his heart, Louis,” Santa says with tears in his eyes, and Louis doesn’t understand, who is this man? “You don’t want to end up like me.”  
“Why would I end up like you?” he asks after a while but he doesn’t really know if it’s the right thing to ask; why wouldn’t he want to be Santa Claus, the most loved man on earth?  
“I am you, Louis. It is your destiny to end up like me, if you don’t make drastic changes, soon, this is what you will become.”  
“I don’t understand,” Louis says in a breath, “How could you be me? When we both are here, I can’t be at the same place twice?”  
“Did you ever think Santa Clause could deliver presents to every child in the whole world, in just one night, without time travelling?” He says with a tiny trace of a smile.  
Louis doesn’t admit that he stopped believing Santa was real, years ago, and somehow, time travelling doesn’t sound as crazy as it should. But –  
“I did some really stupid things when I was young…” Santa continues before Louis can speculate more around the time-thing. “I wasn’t much older than you are now, when it all started. When I realized that I could never have Harry back –“  
“Harry?!” Louis interrupts, because this was just getting crazy. What did Harry have to do with anything? And really? He is not Santa! Santa isn’t real! He needs to wake up!   
He tries to pinch his arms but nothing happens.   
“Harry Styles,” Santa explains, as if it was necessary; Louis knows who Harry is. “You play in a band together.”  
Louis pinches harder. He digs his nails into the flesh on his arm.  
“Your band was put together in 2010…”  
Louis can feel the blood under his nails. He knows what’s coming; he don’t want to hear it.  
“…You fell in love with him when you were 18.” Santa continues as if it’s the easiest thing ever.  
Louis desperately scratches deeper. Why won’t he wake up?!  
“He was the best thing that had ever happened to you. And the best thing that will ever happen to you.”  
Louis is crying now.  
“But then the pressure from media got too strong and you were a coward and all that happiness; you gave it all up.”  
“WHO ARE YOU?!” Louis stands up and screams at the man in front of him, “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!”  
“I want you to fix everything before it’s too late, Louis,” Santa continues just as calm, as if he didn’t have a screaming young man right next to him. “I want you to have a better life than I ever got. You don’t want to end up like this.” Santa breaks.  
“When I got old; back in 2068… I had lived all my life all alone. I had given up the best thing I had ever had, already when I was 20, because I was too scared about what people wrote about me.”  
Louis couldn’t look at Santa, he didn’t want to hear about this.  
“The things that was written about me, years later, though… Those things… they were so much worse,” Santa sighed. Louis doesn’t know if he can believe him though, what kind of things could the magazines find about him that would do bigger news than a relationship with his male band member? “First, getting kicked out from the band…”   
“I get kicked out from One Direction?!” Louis says, because that can’t be right. They can’t kick him out. They are brothers.  
“No one wants to be in a band with a rude drunk,” Santa says shortly, like he’s keeping a lot away, things that isn’t necessary for Louis to know.  
“But at least we stayed in touch… right?” They must have, they couldn’t just separate.  
“No.”  
“What?” Louis can feel the tears coming back up. “But… But we’re best friends!” he gasps.  
“You didn’t even show up at Zayn’s wedding.” Santa answers short.  
That can’t be right. Why would he ever do that to Zayn? He’s his best friend. He’s supposed to be the Best Man.   
He didn’t want to hear more of what Santa had to say. He tried to shut his hearing off when Santa continued to tell him about how he’d cut his family off, making him all alone. How the magazines never left him, even after he had left the band. They had tons to write about the man that had nothing except years of in and out of rehab and occasionally prison. He didn’t want to hear what crimes he could have done, but nothing surprised him anymore.  
How could he let this happen? This wasn’t supposed to be how his life was to turn out.  
“It was a miracle that I even had made it to 77, pumping drugs and alcohol into my blood, more often than water. I lived with so many regrets and I wished for a miracle to make up for it all. And I got one. This,” Santa made a gesture over his body.  
Louis wants to say something stupid like, “What? A red dress and a white beard?” But he can’t bear himself to. But it’s like Santa can hear his mind when he answers.  
“I got the magic. Endless life, ability to travel in time.” He explains, “I used it to make Santa Claus and for thousands of years now, have I travelled to houses all over the world to make kids smile. I was still a millionaire after all,” Louis tries to laugh through his tears. “The regret never disappeared though, I will never forget about all those awful things I did, and the amazing life I could had have if I wasn’t such coward. I am always alone.”  
“Why didn’t you let me die!?” Louis suddenly cries out because if this is how his life is going to turn out; he doesn’t want to live it. If Santa could travel in time, why wouldn’t he just kill him, a long time ago?  
“I thought about it…” Santa admits. “The day you were born; I was about to let you die.” Louis is just about to ask why he didn’t, when he keeps talking. “But I remembered. I remembered those few years I had with Harry, and how happy I was. And I wanted you to at least have that.”  
“Harry hasn’t given up yet, you know?” Santa says and Louis thinks about that day, about a month ago. Louis had been so mad at him, when he so obviously had been singing Little Things right to him, during their live performance. He had yelled at him, wanting him to stop and leave him alone. “He will soon though…”  
Louis doesn’t know what to say, so he just sits still, maybe waits for it to be over. He is so ashamed.  
“Louis,” Santa says after a minute and Louis awkwardly looks up. “You will never stop loving Harry. I know you are really trying, but you will never succeed.”  
“Louis?” A small voice says from upstairs and Louis looks up to see his younger sister, Daisy, watching him. “Who were you talking to Louis?”   
Louis looks to his side. Santa is gone.   
“No one sweetheart, I was just dreaming,” he says but he know it wasn’t a dream. The blood on his arms and the presents under the tree, proves a difference.  
“Why where you sleeping on the couch, Louis?” Daisy asks as she comes down, and sits down next him, on the warm spot where Santa was just seated.  
“I always did, when I was little like you,” he explains as he wraps her up with him under a blanket. “So I could meet Santa when came with the presents.”  
“Did you?” She asks, “Did you meet Santa, Louis?”  
“Yeah…” He says and smile at her.   
It is not long until they are both asleep and doesn’t wake up until the rest of the family are up, excitedly screaming.  
“I have to go,” Louis announces as he sits down at the breakfast table, decorated with all Christmas decorations and Christmas music plays in the background. All the happy laughter dies out with his words.  
“No,” His mother says sadly, “Do you have to work? Please Louis, it’s Christmas!”  
“No… Mom, it’s not work…” Louis swallows, “I have some things I have to do…”  
“We barely get to see you Louis. What can be more important than at least spending Christmas with us?” He can’t let them down with another lie. They won’t do him any good.  
“I…” It’s now or never. “I have to see Harry.”   
“Harry?” His mother is confused. “You will see Harry in a couple of weeks when you get back to work.”  
“I am really sorry,” he really is, “This can’t wait.”  
“What is that important that it can’t wait?” His mother keeps talking before he has a chance to answer. “You can’t just walk out on Christmas Day, Louis. Eleanor will be here in a couple of hours and…”  
“Mom.” Louis interrupts. “I don’t care about Eleanor.” Everyone looks at him with big eyes.  
“Are… Are you two alright?” His mother wondered, “You know, if you are fighting, you can’t just run away from her. Talk to her,” she tries to consult and Louis can’t understand how she has ever bought this weak lie. “You two love each other so much…”  
“Mom! Mom, I don’t love Eleanor.” There, he said it.  
“What do you mean, honey?” She sounds like she is about to break, and no one else dare to say a thing. “Of course you do!”  
“No Mom, I don’t. I’m…” He takes a deep breathe, he can’t get away with this any longer. “I’m gay,” he states, “I’m in love with Harry.”   
He doesn’t wait for everything to break, there’s no chance things will be okay now, are there? “I love you” he whispers weakly to his family that sits all together while eating their Christmas breakfast and then I runs out the door before they have time to say anything. He can take that later, if it’s bad, he rather wait. Right now he has to see Harry.  
Only about an hour later, Louis is knocking the door of Harry’s family home and waits nervously for someone to open the door. One part of him hopes it want be Harry to open, so he will have more time to figure out what to say. The other part of him wants it to be Harry, so he won’t have to excuse himself to a protective family member, for whom he broke the heart.  
“Louis?” It’s Anne who opens.  
“Hi!” he tries to smile but his nerves fails him. “Um Merry Christmas! Sorry to bother you… Um I would just like to see Harry for a bit.” He stutters and look at his feet. “Um… if that’s okay.”  
“Of course, honey!” She smiles at him, how come she is still be so nice and warm to him, even after years of breaking her son’s heart? “Is everything alright?”  
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he smiles at her, “I just really want to see Harry.” Just as he says it, Harry appears behind his mother, in the hallway.  
“Louis? What are you doing here?” the poor boy looks so confused, and at one point, back in time, Louis showing up at their doors step would happen more often than not.  
“I’m sorry!” He burst out. “I am so sorry Harry. I’m sorry for being such an idiot these last years. I’m sorry for letting myself slipping away from you,” he is crying now, “I’m so sorry. I love you and I miss you. I’m so sorry for doing this to us, to you.”  
Harry stands still with his mouth open in chock. He is crying too.  
“I told my family this morning,” Louis says, because he needs to tell Harry. Harry, the person he is supposed to tell everything, but lately been shutting out like he doesn’t mean a thing. “I told them the truth about that I don’t love Eleanor and that… I’m gay. And I told them that I’m in love with you.”  
Harry takes two steps forward and then Louis is finally wrapped up in those familiar arms that he had forced himself not to miss. He had missed them so much.  
“I understand if you don’t ever want me back,” Louis gulps into Harry’s arms, barely audible. “I don’t deserve you. You’re so amazing,” he sniffs and Harry pets his hair.  
“Finally,” Harry finally sighs. “Finally I got you back. I’ve been waiting for so long,” he kisses Louis’ temple and holds him a bit tighter. “I love you too,” he whisper.  
“Are you just going to forgive me that easily?” Louis can’t believe it; he doesn’t deserve it.  
“Of course I am,” Harry says, “You’re my Louis,” and he leans down to kiss him. It’s kind of weird how the lips still feels so familiar, even after months apart.  
“I don’t deserve you,” Louis whisper, but still he won’t move away from the kiss, “I’m horrible.”  
Harry leans his forehead against Louis’ and smiles at him, “I’ve been waiting for you, you know.”  
“I know,” Louis smiles back, “I’m sorry it took me so long. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to come back.”  
“It’s okay. I’m glad you did, at last,” Harry closes his eyes and leans down for a small kiss on the lips.  
“Me too, sweetheart, me too,” Louis smiles in Harry’s lips.  
“I’m glad you grew some sense and realized where you belong.”  
“Yeah…” Louis mumbles. “I don’t want to end up like Santa.”  
“What?” Harry looks at him with a wide grin, and laughs.  
“Nothing,” Louis giggles and buries his nose in Harry’s cheek. It doesn’t matter now, he’s where he is supposed to be. “I love you.” And nothing else will ever change.  
He finally came home for Christmas.


End file.
